Some Damn Good Tea
by GeminiMab
Summary: ** READ ch261 and up to ch355 If you don't then you won't get it at all** Lucy mulls over something that she was told at the guild and brings her theory to Natsu thus making him swear for revenge, Happy sickened and Lucy confused yet ecstatic! (I DO NOT OWN FT!) (Total humor and silly even if the intro sounds sortta serious... A wee bit limey though.)


Lucy sat at her table idly stirring her tea staring off in thought. She ignored Happy as he rummaged through her box of candy she kept for Plue, while taking in the fact that Natsu seemed to be dozing off in his seat to her left. Blinking she chuckled slightly while setting the spoon she had been using to the side. "You know," she said slowly gaining the attention of her dragon-slayer partner. Pausing to take a drink of her tea she relished in its warmth for a moment before continuing. "I found out something interesting at the guild today."

Natsu perked at this and while she already had his full attention he leaned in closer. Things Lucy found 'interesting' were bound to be just that. "Well don't keep it to yourself. Spill!" He said excitedly.

Lucy's gaze narrowed for a moment in thought as she looked over to him. Setting her tea cup down and slightly away she folded her arms on the table in front of her and propped her jaw up with her right hand turning her face to regard her table mate. "Well, I was talking to Levi today about a possible girl's weekend away."

Natsu frowned slightly but brushed his thoughts away. Waving his hand in a forwarding motion he urged her to continue.

Lucy smiled, "Of course Jet and Droy were making a fuss about how they could accompany us and whatnot. Those two are such fan girls." She giggled earning a chuckle from the man beside her.

"You have no idea." He claimed while rolling his eyes. "Anyway?"

Once again her gaze narrowed for a moment before she smiled once more, "Anyway, the concept of going to the same resort we had all gone to for training came up. You remember the one we were supposed to stay at for three months?"

Natsu gulped. Something about Lucy's tone frightened him slightly and he could only imagine why. Silently damning the two Levi-obsessed idiots and vowing to extract his revenge, he plastered on a thoughtful face, "Uh I think so. Same place we ended up meeting up with Jelall and them before the games?"

Lucy nodded while once more sitting up and taking hold of her cooling tea. "The very." She stated just before taking another drink. Placing her cup down once more she folded her hands atop the table and continued, "Well when that specific place became topic it caused Jet to burst out laughing and Droy to blush furiously. Eventually Levi got them to tell her what the issue was." Once more narrowing her eyes she caught the slightly petrified stare of Natsu. "Apparently, on our last trip there Droy received a very interesting scar in quite the odd place. And do you know how that happened?"

Natsu was a dead man. He knew it. Sending a pleading look to what he hoped would be his ally he was met with laughter. Once again he was damning someone only this time it was Happy and he swore his companion wouldn't see a fish for a week. Forcing a shaky grin he shook his head, "No clue!"

"Really now? Because the story they told us included you." Lucy said with a tight lipped smile.

Defiantly a dead man. He was sure to receive unfathomable pain not only from Lucy but the rest of the women who were there. However Lucy's anger scared him far worse than even the mighty Erza. She'd just beat the hell out of him, Lucy however would make him suffer. Revenge would be his, long tedious and excruciating revenge! "It wasn't _just_ my idea! I swear!" he yelled hoping to save himself if he ratted out the rest further.

Seeing his reaction only further cemented her theory. Laughing she waved him off, "Calm down. I'm teasing you. Actually I find it, cute. In a creepy perverted sort of way."

Natsu physically relaxed and let out the air he had been holding in. She wasn't going to kill him. He would live! But then the last bit of what she said struck him as odd, "Wait! What?!"

Once again drinking her tea she smiled, "Well it's obvious really. Once you piece all of it together that is."

"It is?" he squeaked. He would later claim such an un-masculine sound never happened but Happy would be the one to rat him out in way of revenge for holding his fish hostage.

"Hmm," she hummed in agreement around her cup. Setting the now empty cup off to the side she turned herself to face Natsu. "Of course it is! And you thought you were probably being sneaky about it all." She scolded lightly while crossing her arms and shaking her head in a tisking manner.

A smile twitched at his lips. She wasn't made, and she was _teasing_ him over the situation. If that was the case then maybe, just _maybe_ everything would be okay. Better than okay, great if she was thinking what he thought she was. 'Thought' being the opportune word.

Lucy chuckled slightly and gave up her strict façade. "Obviously Jet and Droy were there trying to sneak a peek at Levi. Possibly all of us minus Wendy, but assuredly Levi." She said holding up two fingers as if to count them all off. "Grey spends _far_ too much time with Loki, and while I'm sure once Juvia finds out she'll demand that he was there to look at her, I'm fairly sure that he was just being a pervert in general."

To that Natsu laughed. Oh how he _adored_ the way she spit out the word 'pervert' in association to Grey's name.

"What struck me odd though about the whole thing is why you participated."

His laughter stopped and he looked at her quizzically. "Why's that exactly?" Not that he wanted to be pegged a creepy pervert like the other three, but really, what the hell? Why would it be 'odd' he would want to partake in such an activity as midnight peeping?

Lucy shrugged. "I've been trying to figure it out all night honestly."

"Wait is _that_ why you've been all quiet and weird?" Seeing her glare he backtracked, "Uhhh…. Contemplative?"

Rolling her eyes she continued with her train of thought, "Well it's not like you've ever shown any interest in girls in general."

His eye twitched.

Completely unfazed she continued, "I mean while you're strange at times I wouldn't peg you for the type that would want to look at someone like Wendy. You might be a bit on the creepy side but you're not _that_ kind of creep." Suddenly unsure she looked at him, "Right?"

He almost fell out of his chair. "NO!"

A look of relief came over her. "So not for Wendy, thank goodness. And honestly I've never seen you talk to either Levi or Juvia for more than a few moments of time. So I can't see you having any interest there. Besides you'd be a terrible friend to Gajeel if you went after Levi, and I'm fairly certain the only one with a chance at Juvia would be Grey." Mulling it over she continued, "You wouldn't have just gone along with something that Grey suggested. If anything you would have done your damnedest to sabotage him."

Suddenly aware of how close to the truth she was he waved his hands trying to distract her. "It really doesn't matter! I mean that was forever ago and I don't really remember anything. Who knows why I do some of the stuff I do?" He laughed nervously.

Happy on the other hand was far too amused. Ignoring the candy stash for a moment he flew himself to land on the table to get a front row seat to this event. It was sure to be entertaining.

Lucy ignored Natsu's antics. She continued mumbling things that neither the exceed nor dragon-slayer could pick-up until finally she snapped her fingers and sat straight. "Putting it all together it _does_ makes sense!" She cheered triumphantly.

Natsu was shaking, this was not going to end well. There were reasons he would say the exact opposite of what he was thinking at precise times. Some things were not meant to be known, publicly, especially by the blond looking quite proud of herself. He was sure to lose a great deal if she figured it all out and he wasn't talking about just his male anatomy.

"You have a crush on Erza!" Lucy cheered.

He fell out of his chair. Rather than getting up he laid there staring at her ceiling and wondering just how the hell her weirdo mind worked.

Happy on the other hand dropped the lolly he had been eating and gawked for a moment before bursting into laughter.

Lucy leaned over the table staring down at the man currently seated in a chair that was toppled backwards and just staring unblinking at the ceiling. A smug expression came across her face. "I knew it! And you thought you were just so cleaver at hiding it."

Natsu's blank stare moved to Lucy's smug face and he growled. "Seriously?" he grumbled under his breath as he rolled himself from the chair and stood. Now standing and staring down at the expression that refused to leave her face he had the urge to find out just what the hell brought that on. "And why would you say that?" He asked while righting the chair and sitting once more looking irritated.

Seeing his irritated expression could only mean she hit the nail on the head. Mentally she did a happy dance at figuring it out and ignored the feeling that tugged at her. "It makes perfect sense Natsu. You've known one another since you were children." She stated once more raising fingers to show her list of reasons. "You are on a team with her. You guys used to bathe together."

"We were kids! And she made us!" he cried indignantly.

She waved him off and continued, "That is fine and all but you weren't children a while back when you, Grey and that strange mage ended up in the hot spring with Erza, Wendy and I."

Once again Natsu's eye twitched as he paled, "I wanted to forget about that." He groaned.

"Oh please!" she chastised. "You're not fooling anyone. Honestly, every chance you get you're trying to fight her. And fighting involves physical contact." She added with a suggestive wiggle of her brow.

It was at this point Happy could take no more. While the whole thing _was_ entertaining he felt a need to save his dear friend. Looking between Lucy's 'I'm so right' expression and Natsu's clear frustration and horror, he cleared his throat, "Aye Lucy?"

Turning her attention to the exceed she smiled, "Yes Happy?"

Taking a deep breath he retained his serious expression, "What about you? You were there too."

Natsu tensed.

Lucy looked taken back for a moment and a clear coating of pink dusted her cheeks. Shaking her head she stood and took hold of her empty cup heading to the kitchen to once again fill her tea. "Don't be silly Happy." She said not looking over her shoulder at all. "Not only do the two of you tease me relentlessly about my weight and looks, but Natsu's made it perfectly clear that seeing me naked doesn't faze him." Still not turning to look at the pair she set her cup on the counter and raised her hands to form quote as she said in her best baritone, "What's the big deal it's not like I haven't seen you naked before."

The pair behind her both blinked. Happy shrugged and gave a sorry look to his friend while Natsu just stared at the woman who was pouring out tea.

Not really noticing her companion's state Lucy once more sat herself down and poured her cream into her tea cup. Speaking to the table so she could concentrate on getting the perfect amount of sugar in her tea she said, "You know, if you like I can try and find out if you've got a chance with her."

Natsu, who had finally picked up his own forgotten tea, choked for a moment. "What?" he rasped out.

Lucy hummed in acknowledgment while drinking from her tea cup. Placing it down but keeping a firm hold on the cup to absorb the heat she said, "Well that's what friends are for, ne? I mean it is somewhat sweet and almost cute like I said." Shrugging and looking into the depths of her tea she said, "Why not?"

Natsu felt like banging he head against something. So he did just that with the table. "Oww," he grumbled while rubbing the spot that was now slightly sore. "Can we just drop this?" he whined looking at Lucy.

She snorted at his antics then rolled her eyes. "Geez Natsu, aren't you the one always telling me to just accept when someone wants to do something nice? I don't see why you just don't tell her." Pausing she thought that over for a moment, "Oh Natsu!" She exclaimed suddenly grasping his forearm. "It's because of Jelall isn't it?"

Happy face-pawed.

Natsu looked between her hand on his arm and her face several times before he sputtered out, "W-what?"

She shook her head in understanding. "I can see why that would be a deterrent. I mean she's been in love with the guy since she was little." Frowning deeper she sighed. "Tell you what!" she stated patting where she held him and withdrawing, "I'll see if Erza wants to take a mission with me and I'll hint around the thought for you." She smiled and winked once more drinking her tea.

Happy fell off the table exasperated.

Natsu stared in shock while his jaw hung open. Once again his eye began to twitch.

Setting down her tea Lucy took notice that Natsu's was empty. "More tea?" she asked politely.

"Yeh sure." He said still in shock.

"So how does that sound Natsu?" Lucy asked from the kitchen.

Natsu shook his shock off and growled while glaring at her back. "That sounds like a terrible idea."

Lucy frowned as she set his cup of tea down, "Well excuse me Mr. Grumpy Pants. I was just trying to help."

Grabbing hold of her wrist before she could walk off Natsu said, "If you want to help then do me this one favor."

Stunned by his sudden serious tone Lucy asked, "What?"

Natsu stood to loom over her as he locked eyes with Lucy, "Stop acting so weird and thinking stupid things." And with that he used his hold on her wrist to pull her too him while his other hand gripped the back of her neck bringing their faces close. "I'm not into kids, I want no part of Juvia's crazy, while Gajeel's an ass I wouldn't even think of Levi that way, and I sure as hell never once had a death wish." He smirked at the blush that spread across Lucy's face and the confusion that turned to understanding in her eyes.

"But I-" Lucy never got to finish her thought because of Natsu's lips crashing to her own halted anything in her mind.

A man could only endure so much ridiculousness in one night. He'd much rather deal with the aftermath of making his friendship with Lucy awkward for a short time while he worked on getting her to accept and reciprocate his feelings, then being slaughtered by the red headed death machine known as Erza.

Happy blinked once, twice, three times, then promptly fainted. He would have never thought his friend had it in him.

Lucy squeaked when she found herself lifted off the ground suddenly, by her ass she might add, and then deposited on her table with Natsu standing between her now parted legs. However Natsu had taken the sudden opening of her mouth as invitation and her brain closed down once more.

Somewhere between finally getting to feel her lips upon his own and the absolute need to bring her closer to his very being, Natsu had subconsciously decided the Lucy's table was the best place possible to lift her onto. By no means should anyone think that he possibly thought Lucy would make a fine meal to devour upon said table. At the very least no one should tell Erza he thought that or once again his life would be forfeit. But he couldn't help it. She tasted better then she smelled, and she always smelled _amazing_. Her surprise was all he needed to finally get to fully taste the woman that plagued his dreams and he wasn't about to waste an opportunity. But the moan that escaped her made him groan in sheer delight and smirk victoriously against her mouth. That one simple, enthralling sound would be all the damning evidence he would need to use against Lucy in making her realize just how much she wanted this as he. That and the scratch marks that tingled his scalp from her attempts to also pull him closer.

There would be no awkwardness between the two and he'd make damn sure of that. But first he had to set the record straight on something else.

Pulling away for some much needed air pulled a groan of displeasure from both of them and only caused Natsu to smirk further. Bracing himself against the table and caging Lucy in he said between pants, "I tease you… because maybe… I think you're cute… when you're mad." Seeing her about to retort he once more silenced her with his mouth against her own. Pulling back again he continued, "I say shit like it doesn't faze me cause I would rather you _not_ kill or maim me." Pulling her closer and causing her blush to redden further he growled in her ear fiercely, "Clearly it does." while nipping at said appendage. Trailing hot opened mouth kisses along her jaw earned him another moan. As he reached her other ear he whispered, "And you've been too dense to see where my interest really is." With that he suckled tenderly on the flesh just below her lobe ensuring that there would be evidence he had been there.

Again he pulled such a lewd and wanton sound from her throat but at the moment she couldn't care. She was confused and stunned. But most of all she was overjoyed. She had always thought a moment like this between them to be nothing more than a pipe dream and so she ignored her feelings to the best of her ability. Vowing that she'd be happy for him no matter what and she would find someone else that would make her happy. He was the one that supposedly hadn't been picking up on her dead giveaways after all, but it seemed the two of them were equally dense. Finally detaching the man that ran through most her thoughts she was able to somewhat catch her breath. Letting one of her hands fall to the table to keep her upright she hit his forgotten tea cup and chuckled at an odd thought, "What the hell was in that tea?"

Natsu outright laughed and she giggled at that. When they began to settle down he grinned roguishly and said, "I don't know but it tasted really good." While diving at her once more.

An hour later Happy found himself waking up on the cold floor. Dramatic tears built in his eyes prepared to make his two friends feel like the jerks they were for having left him there. When strange noises he wasn't used to hearing, at least not within the walls of Lucy's apartment or his own home, reached his small ears, his eyes widened and he gasped. There on Lucy's bed were his negligent teammates. A tangle of limbs and minus several articles of clothing. Natsu was touching places on Lucy's physical form that any other day would have Lucy screaming, and killing him. However it seemed that she was, _enjoying_, the attention now.

Making a gagging noise and rubbing his eyes to try and clear the image away Happy flew past the pair that didn't realize he had awaken, he was pretty sure they forgot about him all together, and headed for the window as way of escape. Just as the fresh air hit his tiny lungs he flew back inside and directly to Lucy's kitchen. Her fish were his now as way of payment for having seen _that_. Just because he was a cat and didn't really care, didn't mean he should be subject to those two. Gross.

As Happy once more made his way out the window he headed for Fairy Hills. Hopefully Wendy would take pity on him and let him share his fish with his beloved Charla. Come the morning however he was fairly sure he'd make it to the guild before the rest of his three person team and that is when he would extract his revenge. The guild thrived on gossip and he had _plenty_ to share and use as leverage for his morning meal.

* * *

**Evil Happy... Evil!**

**I don't really know what this is... Some random thing that came to mind and made me chuckle at the thought... Really it's my head clearing story... Something to get out of my mind and hopefully get me back on track with my chapter piece "The Gate Keepers Resolve"**

Anyone

**reading this that is also reading that... I'M SORRY! I'm just stuck :/ I'm hoping that getting this lil number out will help me get my thoughts out again. LOL **

**Anyway...**

**Keep readin and reviewin!**

**Gemi**


End file.
